It’s Hard Enough to Make the Date Happen
When I was a teacher, I knew it was more work to leave notes for a sub than it was to just be there. It took all the fun out of being gone! Sometimes when we finally get out on a date, I feel just as stuck. Here I am with a man I have known for 21 years, and it feels like a lot of work to get away with him. How do I switch gears and be glad I spent all that time making this event happen? And then there are all those topics we SHOULDN’T talk about… the kids, finances, our work. So what do you talk about when you are on a date?
Consider these rules to frame your date:
- Get ready – Change clothes, freshen up and wake up. Shake off the day and get ready for a positive experience.
- Be resilient – I don’t know what it is, but I get so irritated by little things when I am trying to relax and enjoy my hubby. Some of his flaws become glaring and his habits become loud. Resist being irritable.
- Be kind – We can be courteous to the server and snippy with our spouse. Try to listen well, smile often and use your manners just like you would if you were out with other people. Your spouse deserves at least as much as you would give anyone else.
It’s Time to Switch Gears
When Scott and I are stressed, tired and barely out the door, it is hard to switch gears. When couples have been having a hard time putting the laughter back into the relationship, we suggest some date night conversation starters. Check these out next time you get ready for a special date. Which ones would work for you? Comment your favorite and let us know how it goes too!
- If money was not a factor, what would you choose to do the rest of your life?
- If you could witness one historical event, what would it be?
- What can we do as a couple to make a change in the world?
- When have you felt most loved by me?
- What is your first memory of me?
- What are your biggest fears?
- How can we make our marriage “affair-proof?”
- If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
- Do you think our marriage makes our kids or other couples desire to be married?
- What would you say your biggest strength is? And mine?
- What is your favorite…food, color, book, bible verse, hobby, season?
- What is your favorite…song, movie, TV show?
- What is the very best time we’ve had as a couple?
- How can I encourage you more?
- What is your favorite childhood memory?
- What is the most important lesson you learned from your parents?
- What is one thing we can do today, that will make us better tomorrow?
- What food reminds you of me?
- What movie reminds you of us?
- What can I do to make sure you feel safe with me?
- When we are with my family, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?
- What did you learn about marriage from your parents?
- What was your first favorite movie, as a child?
- What do you want to do when you retire?
Be Intentional and Keep Trying
As you are more intentional about date night conversation, it will get easier. Mark questions you want to talk about on your next date and let your spouse know you have some ideas. Let it flow– you might spend the whole night talking about something brought up from ONE question. It’s all good. Save some for next time, right?